She's JV to your varsity
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Two words: blizzard sex
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
