Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize