Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize