he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
