Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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