I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize