Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you would pick up someone in the library
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
