Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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