Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
