Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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