i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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