It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
