I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
