And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
