it was like eating out sand paper
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
