Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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