I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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