then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize