Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
