Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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