pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
