you have to choose: penises or morals?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
