what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
