just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize