It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
