I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
