I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
