Well douche your snatch and let's go!
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Bring me that man meat
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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