Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
