do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
