So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I don't deserve a penis
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
