like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
