We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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