I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
