That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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