After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
