I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize