Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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