The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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