There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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