I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
