You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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