There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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