Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
