You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
