Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
