My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
