just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
