I hate your face
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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