After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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