question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
