So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
