Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
