Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
