People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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