Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
