I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
