your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
