I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
