When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
