evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
