you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
