just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
