i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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