bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
